Monday, May 10, 2010

an excerpt

Years ago I picked up a sweet little book called Cute Guys. About once a year my flatmates and I reacquaint ourselves with its wisdom, and it truly has saved us all a lot of heartache, and time.
I think these excerpts are worth sharing:

Are Wimps Cute?
Yes, without a doubt, wimps are always cute. If you don't think the wimp who was in your Sixteenth-Century Scandinavian Literature class or the perfume copywriter down the hall can be called cute, trust us. You will soon.

A wimp enters adolescence a small, slight boy with beautiful eyes, who, terrified by larger boys or loud noises, becomes a quiet, introverted man. His childhood fears cause bullies to shun him. His only friends are girls, knowing they'll talk to him - and even listen occasionally.

A wimp is a cute guy because he needs love and understanding. He's really grateful when you are nice to him. Sensitivity and respect are more important that chest hair.

Wimps: pathetic, weak, cute. You'll probably want to yell "pull it together, Man!" at them in between all the sensitive love-making and poetry readings.

Are Nerds Cute?
Nerds are cute, unless they're not. It's not automatic, like with wimps. If you're willing to gamble, you could snag a very cute guy with very little trouble. A real bargain.

The nerd learns rudimentary social skills from the other nerds in his field, picking up an odd but of reliable information from the normal male who wants a term paper written. When first meeting the nerd, you will be put off by his manners and one-track conversation. Don't worry, this means you're normal.

Some nerds, you should be warned, are past saving. They are simply boring and recherche, though more likely to have a well-paying job.

Nerds sometimes are not cute.

Are Twits Cute?
It takes a lifetime to learn how to defuse the effectively armed and ranting twit.
The twit is frequently taken for a wimp, slightly less often for a nerd, because he also tends to be slight of build and loath to work up a sweat. Sadly, an unreformed twit is never, ever cute.

He makes pronouncements, not statements. When you score a conversational point, he will disparage your femininity.

This swinish self-congratulation prevents him from being cute, though not from success in politics. Whatever his power and eloquence, he'll never acquire the thoughtfulness and sensitivity needed to be truly cute until you leave him.

Twits are total jerk-faces, and irresistible.

So, there you go. Go for wimps first, then nerds, but never twits, unless they're reformed ones. Don't get fooled into thinking a twit is a wimp or a nerd. But, please, don't thank me, thank THE BOOK.

PS. Its from 1984, written by Fran Pelzman and Martha Thomses and there is almost no information about it on the internet.

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