Thursday, October 1, 2009

how embarrassment

One thing that is really good about living in NZ is that you develop a healthy disrespect for celebrities. Its probably because its so small here, that when you see someone who is meant to be famous its also highly likely that you are somehow related to them, or have, like a baby with them. Or pashed them at a party one time. You know.

I've been going through this period where
everytime I leave the house, I see some NZ nano-celeb. When this happens I have to text my flatmate Graham, who is the only person I know who cares. He usually says something like "WHAT IS WITH YOU AND THE NANO CELEBS?" and I reply "I don't know, lucky I guess?" and then it basically ends until I get home and give him a blow by blow breakdown of how I saw the celebrity at the checkout at Grey Lynn Foodtown, how they were wearing trackpants and how they looked normal in real life.

In fact, a few of my friends have stories of seeing nano-celebs and actually going out of their way to take the mickey. Like seeing them smoking a ciggarette and yelling "YOU'RE SMOKING THE WRONG STUFF NANO CELEB" or interrupting their participation in a children's triathalon by walking across the starting line just as they're about to yell "GO!". etc. I love my friends.

NZ Fashion week was funny because actual
celebrities (Pamela Anderson! Rumi from Fashion Toast! (bracket in bracket - does she count? In NZ she does))came and we tried to play it cool around them. This didn't work with Lord of the Rings and it didn't work this time around. I think that our lassaiz-faire relationship with NZ celebrities just doesn't translate into people who actually, quantifiably, are famous. I remember Rumi coming into some afterparty and there being this rustle of whispers from all the beautiful people there: "just be cool man just be cool".

Anyway. All this was brought on by the fact that the Daily Intel posted a funny story about a Starbucks Barista who made a celebrity faux pas. I read the story. It was funn
y. Then I read the comments and they were funnier.

For example:

"Okay so I'm at Penn Station (waiting to take the train to DC) when I see Ali Larter. But I don't recognize her (this is pre-Heroes). So I walk up to her and I'm like "Don't I know you?" (because obviously she must be someone I know and not an actress). She smiles and says, "I don't think so." It then hits me that she is an actress and I say, "I'm so sorry. You're an actress aren't you?" And she smiles and says, "Yes." I then go, "What have you been in that I might know?" She's like "Maybe Varsity Blues" and she names some other movies I've never heard of. I'm like "No no that's not it." At this point she's starting to grit her teeth like "Why is she still talking to me." I then say, "I know! 'Drive me Crazy!'" And she's like "Yeah." At this point embarassment finally sets in and I say "Well it was nice to meet you. Have a safe trip.""

I LOVE Drive me crazy. Or:

"i saw ja rule at a bar this past summer. i went up and asked him where he has been for the last four years. he smiled and replied "around, girl, i've been around" to which i responded "well hurry up, we MISS YOU!!"...he just started to laugh and gave me a back pat."


"One time I ended up to William Dafoe on the 1 train. Wasn't sure it was him, didn't really want to stare hard enough to figure it out. Thought "if only I could hear that voice, I would know it was him". Then he got off at the same stop as me and ran across the street next to me. At which point we both almost got run over by a cab coming tearing around the corner. He made the Green Goblin (Spiderman) face and screamed in that voice at the cab. So yes, at the moment I almost died, I realized I almost died next to William Dafoe."

Repeat: Willem Defoe made the Green Goblin (Spiderman) face and screamed in that voice at the cab. Amazing.

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